


An Inquiry into the Source of Slayer Powers by W W Pentagon

by thenewbuzwuzz



Series: Buffyverse-Flatland fusions [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Flatland - Edwin A. Abbott
Genre: Crack, Gen, Geometry, Math Without Plot, That's it, There are Diagrams!, There's no plot, This is literally a fic about Buffy being a cone, a.k.a. what would Buffy be in Flatland?, but!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewbuzwuzz/pseuds/thenewbuzwuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which everyone’s a geometrical figure and Slayers are a complicated one. Well. If you live in two dimensions, that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Inquiry into the Source of Slayer Powers by W W Pentagon

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've posted, so please be gentle. (Crack is such a blessing. Now I don't have to worry if this is strange or ridiculous, because I already know it is.)

§1. It is self-evident that Slayers are Women, or more accurately girls, and as such they manifest as Lines (Fig. 1).

 

§2. Yet their calling imbues them with strength beyond that of a Woman (sharp as the end of a Woman may be); see the classic study by E Icosagon (1933). Slayers are warriors. This is borne out by observation: often in the course of duty a Slayer may look indistinguishable from an Isosceles, though superior in agility and training (Fig. 2).

 

§3.1. It is no longer disputed that other dimensions exist beyond our powers of two-dimensional perception. Indeed, it may be argued that these dimensions are the _raison d'être_ of the Council of Watchers, sworn as we are to protect our largely unsuspecting society from the creatures that wander in from Sphereland and beyond.

 §3.2. The assumption that Slayers are capable of partially leaving our plane of existence, or indeed are manifested in it only imperfectly, may serve to explain their dual nature as girl and warrior. This has led T Enneagon (1963) to hypothesise that Slayers might be Isosceles triangles that habitually keep themselves perpendicular to our plane, intersecting it along a single line.

 §3.3. However, Enneagon’s theory has two major shortcomings. A Slayer is stronger and more robust than even a very healthy Isosceles (see the data of Enneagon, section X). Moreover, the width of a Slayer’s base (the distance UY in Fig. 2) is not fixed for a particular Slayer and can seem to vary from battle to battle (see in particular the diary of C Tetragon, 1975-1977); this can in no way be explained by the Isosceles hypothesis.

 §4. This leads me to the main point, so to speak, of my argument. I propose for your consideration the idea that Slayers may belong to that broad yet enigmatic class of figures that is known in mystically academic circles as “three-dimensional”. This class includes vampires, demons and assorted forces of darkness, but also representatives of the forces of light (which colloquially are known as the “Powers That Be”); in other words, creatures that largely exist in a dimension inaccessible to us yet have various manifestations in our plane and interactions with it, appearing to the unenlightened observer as strange and changeable two-dimensional figures with abilities and qualities that we have difficulty grasping as a whole. I believe that the three-dimensionality of Slayers can explain all accessible data that have hitherto not been reconciled.

 §5.1. The model I propose is this: the Slayer must be a figure that incorporates multiple Isosceles triangles. She may sometimes touch our plane along a single line (Fig. 3), or become as it were submerged (Fig. 4a and 4b), at which point the inhabitants of Flatland see (or feel) her as an Isosceles triangle (Fig. 2, above). The structural support of her construction enables her to endure and perform significantly stronger attacks than those of which a simple Isosceles would be capable. Note also that her base UY can be any length up to and including the diameter of the Circle that is the base of this three-dimensional figure, depending on the location of points U and Y along this Circle.

 

§5.2. Indeed, if my theory is correct, it should be possible for a Slayer to manifest herself in our plane of existence as a Circle – a priest. This would befit a representative of the powers of Light on our plane (Fig. 5 and 6). Further research is required to determine if we have perhaps already documented such cases, while failing to interpret them correctly at the time of observation.

       

§5.3. The name of this new subtype of three-dimensional figure should incorporate the main points that may be used to describe her: the apex B at which her (a Woman’s) eye is located, the base UY of her Isosceles manifestation, and the various centres F1 to Fn of her Circle form. Thus the seemingly self-contradictory nature of the Slayer may best be encompassed in a single name, just as she is a single figure of Circular divinity, Isosceles military ability and sometimes unassuming Line appearance. I propose to call this kind of figure a BUFFY.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a feeling I would love reviews.


End file.
